Mid-year wrap up...

I haven't blogged for several months so I thought I'd kick off my return with a mid-year wrap-up. And yes, I do know that August is a little past the mid-year mark. Thank you.

Jan - Aug 2008

Dents on my car from the Great Grimsby Hail Storm of '08: 1 million (approximate)
Scratches added to car by Bianchi Bros (the guys "fixing" my car): 4
Times I'll visit Bianchi Bros in the future: 0
Months spent looking for a house: 7
Months until I move into new house: 1 (woohoo!)
Time spent at other people's homes catching up on sleep I can't get at my current house: 1 month
Immediate neighbours I'll miss when I move: 0
Times I've seen my very fat, very hairy neighbour wear a shirt: 1
Torontonians who've responded "Dundas and what?" when I tell them I'm moving to Dundas: 1 million (approximate)
Times I've turned on my air conditioner this summer: 10
Times I turned on my air conditioner last summer: 60 (or thereabouts)
Average age of people helping me paint my new house: 73 (yeah, I do feel a bit guilty about that)
Number of times I've cursed at myself for swearing: too many *@&! times to count
Number of softball injuries: 0 (woohoo! a new record!)
Times I've heard the phrase "these days..." in radio promos: 1 million (approximate)
Days of vacation taken: 4
Days of vacation taken by my boss: 48
Days I've truly enjoyed at work: 48
Years I've thought about going to The Ex: 34
Years I've actually gone to The Ex: 0
Number of dead plants: 1, but is bamboo really a plant?
Pairs of shoes purchased: 8
Days left to pack entire shoe collection: 35

The Gap - Seeing(RED)

I'm going to be completely upfront and admit that, like millions of others, buy a lot of my clothes at The Gap. Yeah, that's right, I have no conscience. I also happen to be tall and have what Jane Farrow once referred to as "abnormally long legs," so, I shop at one of the few stores that make pants that fit me.

Anyway, I have a sneaking suspicion that the Chinese children, I mean well-paid labourers, making my jeans are being influenced by the church. My jeans are showing more and more signs of Papal intervention. There are so many buttons and clasps these days that wearing Gap pants is like wearing a chastity belt.

For example, the other day at work I went to the loo and two other women followed close after. They both beat me out of the loo, NOT because they finished first, but because it took me so bloody long to do my pants up again. My jeans had a great big button, a little buttonhole, two clasps, a zipper and then my belt. What is the need for so many buttons and clasps? Not to mention the tab fronts that go across and under the belt loop, and thus under the belt. Those pants are a bugger. If they included fastening Gap pants in military training, Al Qaeda and the Taliban could be defeated by now.

Fall into The Gap? Fall into a day of abstinence is more like it.

Wrap-up of 2007...

Broken bones: 1
Number of tree limbs on my car: 1 (with 2 close calls)
Countries visited: 5
Documentaries made: 0 (doh!)
Final Cafe editions recorded: 4
Number of times my fridge died: 3
Amount my landlord spent fixing 30 year-old fridge: $1000
Amount my landlord finally spent on a new fridge: $600
Pairs of socks purchased: 10
Pairs of shoes purchased: 8
Number of friends who had babies: 4
Times I've said "awesome" since working with Dan Misener: 5 million (approximate)

I'm back, with my favourite ad slogan o' the year (but not really...)

Use your period for good. And, so you don't have to go back and read that again, I'll retype it: use your period for good.

USE YOUR PERIOD FOR GOOD. What the? I'm sorry, have I been using my period for evil all these years?

With all due respect to my Proctor and Gamble-employed friends, this is one of the dumbest slogans I've ever heard. It's in the new Always and Tampax ads. You know, the ones that feature the poor South African girl who can't go to school because she has her period. While I feel for the girls who live through this unfortunate situation, and while I can appreciate the attempt to share the plight of these girls, the effort by P&G is downright offensive. Not to mention lame. Who would ever say "use your period for good?" Good God.

I know they're not always fun (no pun intended) but aren't periods and the subsequent ability to create life good things? Isn't giving birth a good thing? Because if they're not, the I mightn't bother with them anymore.

And, um, folks at P&G, just so you know, these women have had to endure missing school and much worse, and they've had to endure it for generation after generation. I'm glad you're finally interested. Oh, and incidentally, the problem goes well beyond having a period and no product. Perhaps when you have a product affected by female circumcision, you'll take notice of that issue too.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to plan a way to use my period for good. I wonder if it will be better if I wear a cape?

"Look Daddy! Teacher says, "every time P&G thinks, a pad gets its wings!"" - Zuzu

My KTS4 package has arrived!

Despite a few UPS headaches, my Knitters Tea Swap 4 package has arrived from Texas. I can't figure out how to add blogger links on my Mac, so here's the link to the swap site: http://knittersteaswap.blogspot.com/.

I've posted the pics on my new craft nerd blog: http://craftnerds.blogspot.com/.

Thanks to my swap partner BJE and to Suzie, Bridget and all the KTS4 organizers!

One of the worst sounds in the world...

... the sound of the furnace kicking in for the first time since winter. Sigh...

I live in the upstairs apartment of an old house, and on Friday morning I awoke to the alarming "thunk" of the furnace being turned on. This was almost immediately followed by that burning smell that accompanies turning on the furnace for the first time in the fall.

In my parents house, it was always a test to see how long we could go before turning on the furnace. It was a measure of our strength as Canadians - how cold did it have to get before we relied on central heating. We'd wear three layers of clothing before giving in. Alas, my landlords are made of much less, it seems. They gave in on the first cold day. It wasn't even winter coat weather for pete's sake.

But I'm still sticking with my annual tradition - no socks until the snow flies (or until frostbite is a threat.)

The human powered blow dryer...

So, tonight I voted. It's (ho-hum) election day here in Ontario and I did my civic duty and voted. For some reason, my polling station was much further away this time, at Hart House on the U of T campus.

The first thing beyond my comprehension? I received two voter cards in the mail, yeah for me, but when I went to vote I wasn't on any voting list. How is that possible? And can I trust the process after that experience?

The second thing beyond my comprehension? Because I wasn't on the voter list I had to fill out a registration form. Here's the thing - all the information I had to fill in on this form was already on the voter card I handed to them. No additional information whatsoever. And since the Returning Officer sent the voter card in the first place, one would think that card would be considered official. Not so. Somewhere a bureaucrat is smiling and a tree is crying.

As I left Hart House, which is, again, on the campus of the University of Toronto, I passed by a guy trying to dry his bicycle seat. It's a cold, misty fall evening here and his bicycle seat was wet, so I don't blame him for trying to keep his tushy dry. That said, he was trying to dry his seat by blowing on it. Yes, that's right, he was blowing on it. He was standing in the rain, his face about 10 cm from his seat, and he was blowing on it. And not just in one spot. He was moving his head all around the seat, I'm assuming in an attempt to dry the entire surface... while it was still raining... I chose to attend two better institutations (Go Marauders! Go Mustangs!) but I'm assuming U of T must have some eligibility requirements. Perhaps the course on how to dry wet vinyl isn't an option until 2nd year.