The Gap - Seeing(RED)

I'm going to be completely upfront and admit that, like millions of others, buy a lot of my clothes at The Gap. Yeah, that's right, I have no conscience. I also happen to be tall and have what Jane Farrow once referred to as "abnormally long legs," so, I shop at one of the few stores that make pants that fit me.

Anyway, I have a sneaking suspicion that the Chinese children, I mean well-paid labourers, making my jeans are being influenced by the church. My jeans are showing more and more signs of Papal intervention. There are so many buttons and clasps these days that wearing Gap pants is like wearing a chastity belt.

For example, the other day at work I went to the loo and two other women followed close after. They both beat me out of the loo, NOT because they finished first, but because it took me so bloody long to do my pants up again. My jeans had a great big button, a little buttonhole, two clasps, a zipper and then my belt. What is the need for so many buttons and clasps? Not to mention the tab fronts that go across and under the belt loop, and thus under the belt. Those pants are a bugger. If they included fastening Gap pants in military training, Al Qaeda and the Taliban could be defeated by now.

Fall into The Gap? Fall into a day of abstinence is more like it.